You are my Dad.

You are my Dad.

Though I have more painful memories then good, you still are my Dad. The handful of beautiful experiences I did have with you, I will forever cherrish.

Though much of what I experienced has created challenges for me to overcome, I know it’s also the same reason I have a desire to learn the in’s and out’s of communication, unconditional love, and be dedicated to relationships. The lack of how it was modeled for me and shown to me has created a deep desire for something different.

Though I wish I didn’t have such a good memory of situations that took place that caused me and others enormous pain, I’m grateful for all the things you taught me.

You gave me a love for numbers, deep conversations, you were very clear about your passions and the things that made you happy, you set time aside weekly to do the things that mattered to you, you were intrigued by analogies and used them often to make a point, you loved to read, even if something in handyman duties wasn’t in your skillet you gave it your best shot.

No one can replace you, even if you never wanted me, I know deep down this is because of your own internal pain and difficultly with life. I can’t imagine what you endured in a relationship that was your heart’s desire and biggest dream, only to have it become your greatest nightmare and the cause of your death.

You’re my Dad. You’ll always be my Dad. Today, I’m Thankful for you doing the best you could to be my Dad to me. I hope you know that I am proud of you in ways I never would have been able to say in my childhood. 

#FathersDay #FathersDay2018 #MyDad #Dad #Reflections